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The Blowjobless Rate

August 30, 2005 @ 7:20 am · Filed under General, Oral

According to respected news source The Onion, the blowjobless rate in the United States has hit an all-time high. From Labor Secretary Elaine Chao:

“Cutbacks in oral services have left 55 million Americans unsatisfied,” Chao said. “Although June saw a promising jump in the age 15-19 demographic, with many teenagers finding summer blowjobs, almost 82 percent of married men are completely blowjobless.”

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While this is indeed distressing news, you may rest assured that The Facial Shrine will be doing its part to help Americans get through these troubled, blowjobless times. We’ve enlisted the services of a number of qualified blowjob specialists who will be available 24/7 to provide oral assistance to those of you in immediate need.

A QUALIFIED BLOWJOB SPECIALIST IS STANDING BY!