Cum Facials for July, 2005

I’ve been getting a lot of email concerning my “Small Penis” article (Astute visitors contact me by clicking on the “webmaster link” on the bottom right of this page – even though its easier and quicker to just post a response to whatever article you’re interested in). MOST people got the humour in it, so I’m following it up with one for the guys. This was originally posted by Body from Easy Movies:

If you give your man head and then take your mouth away just when he starts to cum…you are a dumb bitch!
If you think that a lotion you buy on t.v. will “burn your fat away”…you are a dumb bitch!
If you dress sexy and have nice body and then say to your friends, “..and this total dweeb was checking me out…I mean, I don’t know why!”…you are a dumb bitch!
If you make your man excited and then say, “I’m tired, let’s go to sleep”…you are a dumb bitch!
If you think all a guy wants is a slut…you are a dumb bitch! (Sure, they’re good when you’re down, but who wants a slut for a girlfriend or wife?)
If everything you do only gives your man one more reason to want to leave you, but you think he’ll stay because you’ve got the pussy…you are a dumb bitch!
If you teach your man to be nice by denying him sex…you are a dumb bitch!
If you use your body and looks to get everything you want…you are a dumb bitch!
If you tell your man that he is yours alone and he is the best ever, but cheat on him…you are a dumb bitch!
If you lie…you are a dumb bitch!
If you tell your husband that you want to fix things between you two and then go out and sleep with another guy…you are a dumb bitch!

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Something new I’ve added, is a way for you to subscribe to The Shrine. Enter your info on this page: Subscribe To The Facial Shrine, and you’ll receive a short email whenever I update the site. The mailing will contain a brief excerpt from the update, as well as a link to the full content. You’ll also receive information on how to “opt-out” if you should change your mind.

I’ll never use your email for any other purpose than letting you know I’ve updated the site.

Here’s one for the ladies. Have you met a man recently who just doesn’t measure up? Maybe a guy who acts all shit-hot and needs some bringing down. Guys are sensitive to size of their equipment and if YOU say its small, he’s going to believe it.

The next time you’re faced with a dick you really don’t want to have to deal with, may I suggest:

1. I’ve smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it’s cute.
3. I’m sorry.
4. Never mind, why bother.
5. Who circumcised you?
6. Why don’t we just cuddle?
7. You know they have surgery to fix that.
8. It’s more fun to look at.
9. Make it dance.
10. You know, there’s a tower in Italy like that.
11. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
12. It looks like a nightcrawler.
13. Wow, and your feet are so big.
14. My last boyfriend was 4″ bigger.
15. It’s OK, we’ll work around it.
16. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
17. Eww, there’s an inch worm on your thigh.
18. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
19. Oh no, a flash headache.
20. (giggle and point)
21. Can I be honest with you?
22. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
23. Let me go get my tweezers.
24. How sweet, you brought incense.
25. This explains your car.
26. You must be a growing boy.
27. Maybe if we water it, it’ll grow.
28. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
29. Are you one of those pygmies?
30. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
31. Ever hear of Clearasil?
32. All right, a treasure hunt!
33. I didn’t know they came that small.
34. Why is God punishing you?
35. At least this won’t take long.
36. Let’s just stick with your hand.
37. Do you need a splint to prop that up.
38. How interesting.
39. I never saw one like that before.
40. What do you call this?
41. But it still works right?
42. Damn I hate baby-sitting.
43. It looks so unused.
44. Do you take steroids?
45. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks your dick.
46. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
47. I think there’s a dildo around here somewhere.
48. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
49. Let me know when you’re done.
50. Oh, I didn’t know you were in an accident.
51. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
52. Aww, it’s hiding.
53. Are you cold?
54. If you get me real drunk first.
55. Is that an optical illusion?
56. What is that?
57. Does this run in your family?
58. I’ll go get the ketchup for your French fry.
59. Were you neutered?
60. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
61. Does it come with an air pump?
62. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
63. Where are the puppet strings?
64. Look, it all fits in my mouth at once.
65. Deep throat???
66. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
67. Can you get this pencil out of me now?
68. Do I hang my hat on it?
69. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!

That oughta ’bout do it.

Guys (and ladies) concerned about penis health can take a look at the information presented in the following sites. Remember, a healthy penis is a larger penis. And a larger penis is a happier penis.

This gallery, featuring ebony deep throat babe Vixen from Ghetto Gaggers, might be the most extreme series of pics I’ve ever put up on this site. I’m warning you right now that porn does not get any more raw than this, and I’m splitting the gallery over two pages to give everyone a chance to back out if they feel queasy.

Vixen is a very pretty teen, and the throat fucking she receives verges on art in its extremity. The girl gags until she pukes, is violently penetrated in every hole, and is finally left slumped over an ottoman, her face and hair dripping with cum. A remarkable series of pics from a cutting edge site.

Visit Ghetto Gaggers – Extreme Ebony Deep Throat & Gagging Videos

Warning: The following pictures may be considered very disturbing to some viewers. Click the link below link at your own risk.

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I’d feel sorry for blonde Lindsay if I wasn’t enjoying these pics and her movie so much. Lindsay was actually afraid to work for Facial Abuse because she knew how rough those guys are. Hey, when you’re THAT nuts, word gets around. But she’s a horny little freak and, after getting worked up, she wanted to get roughed up and roughed up good.

Watch Lindsay suffer through over 30 minutes of this abuse.

Lindsay never had a cock up her ass before, but now she can tell her friends that she’s been drilled in the dirt hole and sucked her shit stink off a hard cock. She goes on to take her first DP before getting three loads blown on her face. This is classic porn. No artistic merit and no regard for the way the model feels. Just like it should be.

Facial Abuse: Porn doesn’t get any harder than this.

While I’m on the topic of deep throat and rough blowjobs, I’m going to add this series with slutty blonde Brittney from Facial Abuse.

When it comes down to extreme oral, anal, and bizarre penetrations, no-one tops the twisted mind of Duke Skywalker. Brittney goes through the “normal” routine of double penetration / throat fucking till she gags / ass-gaping / double blowjob, etc; before things take a turn for the extreme – after getting choked by a 14″ dildo, she gets her ass reamed with a toilet plunger.

Then things get wierd…

…but no matter how out of control this site gets, the girls love it. Some girls, you see, actually ARE sluts and like to be treated that way. Facial Abuse has a way of bringing the whore out of girl, and they’ll never be the same after their experience.